You found a girl to hook up with at a gay bar?
No. His name was Paco. I didn't get it by choice. I never had a hickey before.
What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
My dog ate my bag of weed. Thats not the easiest call to the vet to make.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
We both shit in the same closet in Santa Fe. Nothing is sacred anymore.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
My roommate made maccoroni last nigh dropped the bowl off the counter knocking it into the dog bowl he picked up the dog bowl and started eating it claiming it was te worst Mac and cheese ever and if he wasnt so high he would stop eating it hahahaha
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Is she talking about a testicle cuff or just a cock ring? How did you meet this girl?
Is there a big difference?
It’s about the same as the difference between a night of drunken sex with a stripper at the Bellagio and being robbed and left for dead by a crystal meth tweaker
Randomize
