you dont know how to answer ppls txts anymore?!?
im sorry, i don't get text messages.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
I want someone to sweep me off my feet and you want someone to fuck you on the kitchen table. They're both perfectly logical needs.
I got dressed on his front steps, peed on his neighbors lawn, then did a shoeless walk of shame home at 5am...
Celebrating landing my dream job by watching zombie movies and drinking free booze in the bath. I'm like 90% sure I just won life.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
Nobody feels the need to text me back. Men. And I sent myself a message saying nakedness. I'm all the man I need.
Like not to be gross, he was eating me out while I was smoking a bowl. It was like a rap video
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
So woke up naked and found my clothes from last night in my kitchen with a half eaten quesadilla
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
i don't know what happened one minute im stumbling home drunk and the next im drinking pabst and smoking with a french guy ive never met named hugo.
Randomize
