try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
She said she couldnt do it today but shed make it up to me next week
stick it in her butt and if she asks, say that thats what you thought she meant
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
dude. she was texting with her nipple. I love touch screen phones!
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
Did I ever tell u about how my buddy fucked peter coors's daughter and made a tshirt that said I TAPPED THE ROCKIES with her picture on it?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
You need a sexual gate keeper
I mean, it's just pathetic when the standard is tinder and he can't live up to it.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
OH MY GOD YOU GUYS I JUST FOUND OUT I HAD PHONE SEX THE OTHER NIGHT
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Randomize
