it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
To say the least, now you know you're a proper lady, passing a field sobriety test in heels...
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I got a phone call from security asking me to do my laundry wearing more than a blanket next time.
We told you to stay put for 2 minutes. We come back out and your being handcuffed yelling "DO YOU FEEL LIKE A GOOD FUCKING PERSON ARRESTING ME ON MY BIRTHDAY?!"
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
Lest we forget our veterans. Also that two years ago I lost my virginity on this day in a hot tub. Go me for being the worst person on earth.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
If history is any guide, his morals are no match for my tits
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