Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
There's a show on the Discovery Channel about T-Rex sex. I think this just made my life.
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
Why do my weekends always degenerate into using my little brothers childrens board games for drinking games?
I don't think you could pull off being mean.
How do you think I'm still single?
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
