How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
today's thought: if you're naming your fb album "wEdDiNg dAy!!!!!!" you're too young to get married
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
I love college. Only here at ten in the morning can you hear "Man, hot sauce on my pussy was my worst idea in a long time." while walking down the hall.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
im buying my prof a giftcard to the state store bc he talked ab crying into a glass of tequila so he deserves it
He doesn't like Sabbath and that alone is a GIANT red flag. Learn from my experiences and never, I mean NEVER associate with people that hate Black Sabbath and Motörhead.
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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