Just got back from doctors appt. He lied. It wasn't a pimple on his dick.
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
The dingo escaped by eating a hole through my screen door. It's loose in the city somewhere.
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
The shrooms have turned on carrie. Change of plans. We're getting stoned and finding bacon.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
