Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
His appology was" look at it this way, at least you'll give better head without those teeth.'
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
He just walked in our room casually and said "big girls are hungry"
at that time a 4 pound meatball stuffed with pizza rolls seemed more important than bailing you out of jail.... sorry.
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
She needs more friends. Or a second therapist.
there's a girl on facebook trying to buy me a pizza. I can't say no... right?
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
