I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
I would rather wake up to a truck driver than wake up to her
I really hope that wasn't actually his first time. Because if my first time was anything like that I would NEVER have sex again.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
No I did not just post a Craigslist ad for a used stripper pole because I can't afford my own. But now that you put the idea in my head I might have to.
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
And I'm bringing my coffee cup of wine.
Randomize
