Christians are straight up FREAKS
hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
Also, you peed on your hand last night. Id just like to point that out
I feel like "stop licking my face" isn't something that needs to be repeated twice
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
I kind of really want to call off the engagement but I kind of need his mom's mashed potatoes on thanksgiving so I'm between a rock & a hard place here
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
I think I'm more excited for Santa to come now that I made a drinking game out of it
Randomize
