I told them you could toss a salad like wolfgang puck
If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
i know we're in college but you cant booty call me at 3 in the afternoon. i dont care how drunk you are.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Down at Ground Zero right now. So many people here. It's the most patriotic game of grabass Ive ever seen.
If Megan asks I spilled my water water all over her. I pissed on your roommate. You're welcome. I expect you to keep that on the down low. Seriously tell her the water thing
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
They make twin pack pregnancy tests for girls like us
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
No, the high point was when you stood on a chair and shouted you were the god of tits and wine.
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
I woke up in a boat, with a life jacket on, tons of beer cans and no lake... I was inside a garage. WTF
I dunno about you, but I consider getting eaten out on the porch of a houseboat in -30c in a bridesmaids dress a northern right of passage
Randomize
