We just made watching Intervention into a drinking game. We drink everytime someone does drungs.
Pretty sure I just slept with Elmo.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
I think I should receive an honorary Heisman... I mean, I did sleep with two of the finalists
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
Thank God I did Vegas bombs with those cops at their Christmas party. We should so be in jail.
Like really my mothers day gift is a pic of his dick
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
Xanax and an ambien. And wine. I'm just waiting for mouth to mouth from some hot EMT. Sort of like the slutty girls version of sleeping beauty
It's definitively the wine. Every time I can drink and work I feel like I win at the game of life.
for not the first time in my life, my clothes are covered in piss and i'm standing in line waiting to buy pedialyte at a convenience store
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
Randomize
