i threw up in over 4 different places last night. it was like a world tour
I am so high I am beginning to unironically like Vanessa Carlton.
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
I tried ok? my penis just doesnt like her as much as my mother does
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
My dick just stopped my iPhone from falling into the toilet.
Yeah getting kicked out of the bar at 1 pm really set the tone for the day.
did i mention he attempted to milk her in backseat?
I thanked her dad for "firing off a good one" when she was conceived. She said thats why he doesnt like me.
Getting your clit pierced is not something you want to trust to a crazy girl with an ice cube, some vodka, and a sewing needle. Trust me. I learned that the hard way.
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
All I want is some guy to eat me out while I work on grad school things then go on his way
help. there is a guy in a bunny costume.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
Randomize
