Just soaked up some whiskey with a paper towel and then squeezed it into a cup for consumption. New low.
I wish we could go back in time and find our best farts ever
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Okay so my USC tutor just offered to eat me out. I think I'm definitely applying to USC.
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Drunk Sam makes promises that Sober Sam can't keep
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
His boxer smelled like clean laundry while I was giving him head. It was delightful, like sucking a dick in a spring meadow.
It was all like "my feathers evolved from scales of a reptile bitches!!" and I was all like "damn this chocolate milk is AWW SOOME!"
Randomize
