i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
WHY. COME BACK. TRAPPED WITH ROOMMATE AND FALCON. SAVE ME. I HAVE HUMMUS.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Did you know that taking off a bra with teeth burns ninty calories?
i don't find him as attractive when he's dressed as himself...bring back Indiana jones and I would so fuck him again
We were making out and truffle butter was playing in the background. I stopped mid make out session and said, "I'm really sorry but I have to rap Nicki's part."
Basically I think I'm replacing men/sex with theme parks.
Apparently I was walking around with a slice of bread and wine saying, "Jesus would have wanted this." 🙄 🍞🍷
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
