Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
so while trying to be a healthier drunk i discovered that putting airborne in natty is not an advisable decision
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
No i'm not calming down the girl at white castle did not need to see the picture of my dick on your phone.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
He doesn't deserve you. Your ass looks 8 times better than his face ever will. Wanna order pizza and watch porn?
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
