your thong is hanging out like whoa
i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
Well, both are illegal but one involves my vagina a whole lot less.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
I woke up this morning and the search history on my phone says: "What is this castle in front of my house?"
I mean, on what planet are nipples suppose to look like that?
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
What do I do when my mom and I both awkwardly spot the Rocky Horror parody porn sitting on the coffee table? Leave it or try to move it?
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
How many fucks given?
0.12846
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
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