it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
i really wish i had a remote for my computer. its all the way on my bed while im across the hall puking my brains out to enya. not cool.
so,apparently a side effect from having sex on the beach is now i have a tanline shaped like your sister
i hate you
Guess who just hooked up with the cop that fingerprinted her?
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
my star wars tattoo got me laid last night. definitely a dark side sort of benefit im thinking
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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