I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
someone just broke into my class and invited everyone to the bar ...now we're filling out a police report. awesome.
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
They wouldn't serve more then two Shots per person, so you grabbed a group of strangers and said u werre buying them all shots, then proceeded to drink all of them.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
Discovered that a nalgene holds an entire bottle of wine. Going mobile. Come find me.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
I'm pleased to know that your mom refers to me as "the ass piliager" now
I drank a girls breast milk at this wedding. Shit was next level
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
Can you masturbate to someone liking your instagram picture?
Success! We fucked roommates!
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