i don't like sucking hair
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I told my dad that bagels were the equilelent of angels kisses and if he bought me one i would do a split
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
I've found my soulmate with the cardboard Dos Equis man.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Randomize
