I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
if I see one grey pube I'm spitting his penis out!
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
why is pumping your own stomach in your searches on youtube?
Do you think I can haggle my way to discounted weed on 4.21?
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
She is the perfect woman. She cooks, gives good head and doesn't care that I have a small penis.
you were passed out in your cheese fries by the time he brought out your second order of french toast.
Don't ever tell me I'm a bad friend. I woke up at 7 this morning to drive your mistake home because you wouldn't get up.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
The people around me on the bus dont know im wearing glowsticks under my clothes. I feel like a super hero.
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Randomize
