its like an ocean threw up right in your lap
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
Dating my ex's drug dealer.. best. revenge. ever.
Working on an important paper into the wee hours of the morning, and every time I type the word "situation," I can't help but think of effing Jersey Shore. Those guidos are now ruining my academic life.
I woke up to a topless girl handing me a blunt. Candidate for greatest wake-up ever?
Um, yeah. You lit my birthday candles with a joint. Mom= not happy.
I don't remember... but puking on the bar sounds like me.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Spotify knows me way to well. You mention swinger club and guess what it shuffles to? Danger Zone by Kenny Loggins
I want your cock. I also want to cuddle you and tell you how amazing you are, because you know balance.
I feel like hooking up with you on my floor, sneaking out my window and jumping a fence is an effort that deserves a happy birthday.
Donated a pint of blood at 6 and pub crawl started at 7. Thank your lucky stars I'm still alive today.
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
If he isn’t into CosPlay he will be after tonight. That naughty nurse outfit heals broken hearts
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