I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
OMG stoned with flashing lights behind me, I was freaking out until I realized I wasn't driving my couch
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
We found her on the trampoline. She told us she was jumping so she could puke & rally. I think I want to marry her.
My vagina supports interfraternal relations
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
he walked up looked at my boobs then looked at my eyes then looked at my boobs again smiled and said "can I get you and the girls a shot "
My legs feel like baby dolphins
Tonight I researched being a phone sex operator and teaching English at a French school in Africa. I think my future lacks direction
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Ya can’t just go throwing accusations around about someone pooping their pants without some hard evidence
Randomize
