It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I might have a beer. Just to keep this hangover on its toes.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
She is just riding on my slutty coat tails.
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
Just caused a nice traffic jam while trying to park at Costco. Too high to drive.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Yep I can make a seagull sound. It's identical. I tried it. They thought I was talking to them. It's pretty cool.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
Randomize
