i don't know whats more disturbing, that his dog drooled directly into my mouth or that i was too drunk and tired to do anything except let it be there.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I got an MIP via FUCKING HELICOPTER. Tuscaloosa police either have nothing to do or too many resources.
some guy just walked by in the street and for 5 seconds yelled "IMM SOOOO HORNYYYYYY!!!!"
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
There are now half chewed girl scout cookies plastered to my windshield. Do you know anything about this?
It's taking 3 penises to fill the hole he left in my heart.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
and i think wearing the clothes from last night are out of the question...was there mud wrestling there? because i look like a participated..with a cat.
June 16th my calendar just says boobietassels....I can only assume that has to do with you
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Randomize
