You're the end to all my bad dreams.
Did you have that reoccuring dream about me banging your mom again?
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Either she got face surgery at midnight, or i need to stop drinking...
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
Standards? I'm sitting on his couch eating microwaved ramen wearing his wife's t-shirt. I don't remember what having standards even feels like.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
You know when you meet a penis that looks like it was made out of all your hopes and dreams?
Just make it a game! Like 20 questions STD style.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
She looks well worn, presumably from a cavalcade of penis.
She pinched my nipples out of nowhere as I was about to come... I think I found god
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Would you still love me if I got a Whatever Forever tattoo? It's like the Emo kids' Live Laugh Love
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