I play with my boobs when I'm bored. I playwith my nipples whe I'm drunk
I looked him in the face and asked if we could stop. he asked why. I said "I can't feel it.". ...I feel bad; I should have faked.
We need to either start getting drunk more often or one of us need to start doin drugs
Wtf? Why?
I want awesome conversations to show the world.
I forgot how hot balto sounded
I woke up to find her cooking breakfast wearing nothing but my Nuggets jersey. I don't think this could end better.
They ran out of vodka so we started doing Body Doritos.
I'd like to be considered more than just his fuck buddy thanks. IVE BEEN RISKING PREGNANCY FOR SEVEN GODDAMN MONTHS I DESERVE THE TITLE OF GIRLFRIEND
I was on my way last night when some asshole yelled "make better life choices" out the window of his car. I felt so self conscious I went home.
Your topless pictures make me question reality
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
It will pretty much be equal to the feeling I had when you let me hold your dick while you were peeing, or when I graduated high school!
Your dad was just slow dancing with the priest and holding a beer. Classic
He just showed up at my house with a giant box of Trojans and a 6-pack of Yoohoo "for a special treat afterwards". I'm in love.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
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