some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
I kept grabbing at Stephanie's boobs because I thought the leopard spots on her dress were popcorn.
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
We are probably going to have to use your boobs as currency to get this done
You went to jail last night?!
Just a little bit.
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
The hospital waiting room is starting to become a very familiar place to me.
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Put down the Captain Crunch and get over here. It’s a dickfest!!
Randomize
