We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
you can add "aspirated seaman" to the list of things your sister has been admitted to the hospital for
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
The pastor just stopped the sermon to lay hands on me. THAT hungover.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Bumble is fuckin insane here. I'm going to break a hip.
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
I woke up this morning and my house is covered in shredded cheese with my laptop open and a google image search for "awesome shit".
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
