Clothes are such an inconvenience.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
12 garbage cans filled with water, a beer can floating in every garbage can, 20 ft. apart and you shoot with dodge balls..and thats only how the night began
after last halloween when i met that 26yr old guy from russia who was hot until we madeout and he became obsessed with touching my forehead after the ecstasy he did and then tried to sell me pills from an m&m mini container, i think im staying away from parties downtown
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
when i got home she was standing in my front yard not wearing a shirt and halfway crying/ halfway laughing
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
What happened last night? I'm too scared to get out of bed and see the destruction.
First of all, check to see if that naked guy is still alive. He didn't look to be breathing when I left
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
Mike's not allowed to drink vodka anymore. He couldn't get his temporary tattoos (stickers) to stick so he super glued them on.
No, he wouldn't have sex with me....but on the brightside I managed to fit the entire falafel sandwhich in my purse!!
Just bedazzled a flask, while drinking out of it. Hot glue is EVERYWHERE.
Dont care about too tired for sex, thank you for leaving your laser pointer. I have now determined both my cats are stupid.
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