whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
after you threw up, you tried to prove you were sober by reading the ingredients off the shampoo bottles
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
I mean, keeping the tube socks on AND taking cell phone pictures that he didn't ask for during sex? that's two strikes kiddo.
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
Now I get the fucking shakes every time I hear I'm Sexy And I Know It. Thanks, Captain Morgan.
I wish I could remember her name, I mean we fucked and all, but it woulda been nice to tag her in the instagram pics.
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
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