so whenever I text yeah my phone automatically corrects it to yeahhhheeehhyeahyeahh .. too much party in the USA?
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Needless to say they were not happy to find out that we braided their hair together, when one of them woke up needing to puke bad
I know this is random but to this day I regret not having sex with you on that atv on the top of that mountain underneath the American flag.
Found half of a five day old piece of pizza behind my dresser. Apparently it was drunkenly set there and got knocked down. It was such a happy reminder of last weekend.
I found a cheeseburger next to my tub once. It's there to shame you, but it always just makes me feel more awesome.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Thank you. Next to bondage, soft American Apparel t-shirts are the best things you've taught me about.
How bad would it be if I asked him for my "ho ho ho" thong back? They're my fav christmas pair!
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
The fact that a spice girls song is stuck in my head is a great sign that my decisions aren't the right ones at the moment...
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
You’re going to be a doctor, and I’m going to be a trophy wife. We both have goals
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