I don't really want to write this paper. It's the last one of the semester - I need to savor the feeling of procrastination.
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Sorry, not ignoring you.. We broke open the other piñata left from cinco de mayo and it was filled with condoms, mini booze bottles, and those little party horn things you blow into. You'll forgive me when we're fucking for days with all these free condoms.
I don't like sad things. I do like drinking though
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
Theres a point where you stop and say hey....as high as I am on LSD right now ...I`m just a man covered in paint
I live vicariously through you. No one mistakes me for a hooker anymore. I look like a stay at home mom of three. On bad days of four.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
