you wouldn't even come home last night... Dead to me
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
he couldnt get it up, so i stole his lighter. i needed to have some reason to say the night wasnt wasted
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Are you around on Saturday? Feeling a trip over
Wet with either fear or sexual excitement
I think a mixture of both is appropriate
I told him I would only take his calls if he was dead, dying, capturing a midget, or buying me shots.
I stand by my new policy.
Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
you came home and ate 12 bananas. you really didnt think mom would know you were high?
Randomize
