i tried to light my apt on fire. reasons why drunks and women should not cook
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
TAKE ALL THE MAERHMALLOWS AND PUT THEM ALL IN THE MAGICAL NIGHTSTAND
I was to tired to jerk him off, so he made me hold it while he thrusted into my hand.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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