i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
btw.sex in the wood isnt as romantic as it seems.heels kept sinking in the dirt and pine needles were sticking to the fishnets
i wish i had your life
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
then I woke up and felt a boner that wasn't even mine. never taking 3am vodka again
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
He ripped off his shirt and tried to give me CPR. That damn bong.
This is your liver's 7:15 wake up call. Mandatory margarita popsicles after work today. Rule #71: no excuses, play like a champ!
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
I feel like too many of my sentences start of with "Hey, fuckface!"
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
Randomize
