Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
we ike ciroccccc we love patroneeeee shost shothosthsothosthostsssss veryboyddddyyyy
go home
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
well considering we left the bathroom with the mirror off the wall, a bloody nose, and clothes all messed up they assume im just a coke whore now..
YOU SUCK AT REPLYING IM IRRESPOSNIBLY DRUNK WHAT THE FUCK ARE YOU DOING WITH YOU LIFE. celebrate the magicness with me.
If I ever mention marriage force me to Brazil to do coke and strippers until I die.
Hey, just wanted to let you know that University Police stopped by and repossessed the stolen laundry basket. And the 8 bottles of detergent.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
scream really loud. we think you crawled under the deck
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
Okay, I just reached peak living alone
I ate a piece of chocolate cake while jerking off
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
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