Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
We fed your dog hot wings then gave it some Bud light to drink. You're right. Dogs are fun.
You fell on your face and the waitress just brought you a fresh drink
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
Got in a bar fight defending Prince. Thought you ought to know. He gets his dick sucked cooking eggs for breakfast.
He always takes home straight guys. He plays One Night Stand on Ledgendary Mode
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Got home to the hotel 3hrs ago per texts sent not in english to not a full phone number
I AM CRUING IT IS 93:2 AM AND I AM CYGIN INT BED
Once again, marijuana saves me from going to jail
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
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