i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
Since when is my name a synonym for head?
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
He came so hard he burst a blood vessel in his eye. Do I have to take him to the ER? because I'm too tired for this shit.
We had to take the hinges off the bathroom door. Needless to say, you are no longer welcome at that bar
Being single is awesome because I can still drink a bottle of wine and hate myself, but I don't have to shave my legs!
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I just sat on the floor of my shower for 20 minutes to punish myself for drunk me's decisions.
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
She puked on the floor because she said she really liked to clean.
I'm going to start talking to Bill again, he has friends with boats which means we'll get to go on boats.
Randomize
