Do you not remember dry humping your dog for 20 minutes at oxfest dude?
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
His dick looked like E.T.'s finger. It scared me.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
Tonight marks the 1 yr anniversary of me waking up in a bush. is that reason enough to celebrate?
Started with us just having a beer. Now Ivan lit a torch to walk to the store, Ben smashed a 26 in the parking lot, and they're throwing broken shot glasses. Fratio Friday is something.
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
THIS IS A TERRIBLE REWARD FOR NOT GETTING PREGNANT.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
I think he's an actor
That's not a good enough reason to wear guy-liner
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
Randomize
