perhaps when you are drinking red wine from a tall glass with a straw it is time to call it a night.
Ohh the wonderful, yet disgusting things she can do with her hair
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
Ordered weed last night from the delivery service, and who showed up...my old real estate broker. He said, "this is less stressful." Duh.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Well I disagree, 3 different men in my bed over my birthday was the perfect way to say goodbye to my childhood innocence
2011 senior yearbook drinking game. we're taking a shot whenever some dumbass uses that quote about how life isn't isn't about the breaths you take, but the moments that take your breath away. also that retarded wayne gretzky one about missing shots you don't take.
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
There's a man with a stuffed dog and a can of dog food on the L. Should I break it to him?
Best not to. Some people need their delusions.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
If it involves notarization or the Misfits, I am up to date. Anything else, I know fuck-all.
is 250 jello shots considered an open container?
Right. Cuz nothing screams "You made it!" quite like selling your used underwear to strangers you met on the internet.
Randomize
