I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
he threw mangos from the tree he was in at people and got arrested for harassment
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Just found my toeprints on the glass of his sunroof.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
He somehow always manages to get me naked within 5 minutes of being together. It's like fucking witchcraft.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Let's drink lean at the 5 seconds of summer concert. Give the teens a glimpse into their future as dysfunctional adults holding desperately onto their youth. You in?
Rain drop, shock top, drinking can't stop stop
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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