At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
i don't understand how she was down there for so long, she's like a mermaid, a blowjob giving mermaid.
We had break up sex twice. He said one was cause he had to say goodbye to both tits.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
So I went tanning and I burned my boobs.
They're like sad pomegranates.
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
My poor liver. I drank enough on NYE to sustain an alcohol addiction for the entirety of 2015.
I'm not trying to take your husband away from you, but can we have another 3way soon? I'm just desperate for good dick.
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
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