Do you still have your period?
my computer doesn't work...
why?
i puked on it last night
girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
I don't care who it's from we're getting blown. It's a 3 day weekend anything can happen
I have got to stop singing on voicemails. I just left my dad a 6 minute musical message.
Unless you've also woken up wearing a poncho and a ring pop, I suggest you don't judge me. Okay, I even judged myself for that.
crossed #23 off the Slucket List!
YOU JUST MADE YOUR SLUCKET LIST THIS MORNING.
He bought a sex swing! He's building the playground of my dreams!!!!
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
You spent an hour sitting naked in your neighbor's Jeep Wrangler yelling in a terrible British accent about how you were "on a safari". Then you passed out on your lawn.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
i think i passed out for a few seconds while we were having sex but he didnt notice...
Randomize
