last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
my sister just canceled her nose job because she thought it would hurt too much
It'll hurt less than being alone
my ass has officially been on the floor of every fraternity on this campus
and who said we didn't have goals?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
after last night my drinking related hospital bracelet collection is up to 13
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
his brother walked in while we were fucking on the couch, told me i had "lovely jugs" and offered to make both of us a drink
His cat kept scratching my feet while we were having sex. There's only room for one pussy around here. It also concerns me that he owns a cat.
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
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