I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
"Shots" has been nominated for a grammy. Now all of the US has sunken to our level...
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
just heard a glass bottle fall in lecture and my first thought was to yell party foul.....is it friday yet?
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
We legit stopped the the game so that Jamie and I could throw up in the bushes, and then continue to play intramurals... this is what my life is coming to1
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
At least I remembered to wear a bra. I feel like that's a big accomplishment right now
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
I decided it might be a good time to stop when he requested I "bring that pussy over here"
Randomize
