Soo i just shotgunned a water balloon...
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
The guy in 209 is masturbating with the door cracked again
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
He realized that I was watching deadliest catch while we were jerkin off on FaceTime.
Hey, it's Valentine's Day weekend and were single and off our periods. Let's live like queens.
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
Randomize
