Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
My mom make sausages for dinner...and all I could think of was your dog's penis..
i just heard her through the wall saying "not on my face! NOT on my face!" then a scream and "I SAID NOT ON MY FACE!!!"...nice work dude.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
What makeup look will say to the therapist 'I am a smart, well-adjusted young woman'?
I literally saw him try to open a beer can with his anus. We need o step up our game.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
Thats just a parental red flag. They have been brainwashed. Lets baptize them into the church of PBR
I feel like we have a good system here turning our sketchy decisions into great stories.
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
I was just giving a mobile app demo to a client, on my iPhone, when a reminder alert appeared across the page blinking "12pm: go home and give John head". You're an asshole
Hahaha oops.
you took my virginity. you can't have my alcohol too.
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