So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
i learned of a new sex move called the pterodactyl. 3 guys stand in a row. 1 girl blows the one in the middle while jerking off the other two. kids these days!
Yaeh! Back in our day we had to wait our turn for some party whore to blow us!
well there you go. the average partycunt evolved into megapartycunt just like scientists predicted.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
Let's play, "guess how long my Neighbours have been watching me dance naked".
You did that scary laugh you always do when you're blacking out except she's never heard it before and though you were choking and screamed at all of us when we didn't call an ambulance
Chuck job is nothing more than to be my dick stand when I'm too drunk to hold it while pissing
Just opened up the freezer to find chocolate penis popsicles. Too hungover for this shit
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
Randomize
