if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
I had to go to the bank to confirm purchases made on 10/31/09 because they were signed as Lady Gaga
Would it be too much if i wore depends to new moon so i dont miss any of it?
so he tried marking my clit with a sharpie so he could "find it again next time".
Graduating is kinda bittersweet. Now I'm gonna have to find another excuse to day-drink and sleep until 3pm besides "I'm in college."
I just asked the dr if it was herpes while wearing my shirt from the strip club...
I told you to stay away from the strippers in Oklahoma
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
The part of "Dave" will now be played by "Rob." Rob, why don't you unzip and show Dave why that is.
And as the acid sets in, he looks back at the shallow form he used to call his and whispers "3 pee pees strong"
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
Randomize
