We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
Do you ever wonder how many people have prayed for you to be a better person?
Just bought a McDouble with a tightly rolled dollar. The lady just gave me a sad face...
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Some guy dressed like Santa just handed me a bottle of tequila. I NEVER WANT TO LEAVE CANCUN
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
Blow Jobs and the Patriots Playing I think I’m going to marry her
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Just confirming I will be washing my asshole at your house at approximately 2:45 tomorrow afternoon.
The strangest confirmation message ever sent.
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